I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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