There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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