i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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