Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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