Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
