Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
