And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
