i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
