trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
