I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
