My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
