Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize