Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
