Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
