I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
