I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
