did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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