i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
