Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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