he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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