I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
