The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
