small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
