We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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