It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
