oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
