You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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