sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
