Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
