Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm lost and stupid without you.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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