Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
