i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's blow job season.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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