i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
