drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
