I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
