It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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