That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
