i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
