I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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