I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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