I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
