She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
