Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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