dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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