Fuck appropriateness.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
