fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
