He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
