Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
