Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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