So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
