The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize