I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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