is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
