Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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