nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
