I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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