I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
