I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
