I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
