Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize