ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
