I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
